.....yet home is where the heart is.
where does that leave the heart?
left behind? forgotten? disregarded? or just in a different place and time?
just when i thought i was ready to embrace my college life as my real one.....
it's amazing how easy it is to forget how much we need people. when were away for long periods of time we are able to use the distance and the time as an almost effortless, painless road out.
...but then maybe its just me.
i seem to depend on the people who are standing next to me....maybe thats just the easy way out. it doesn't give me any room to get hurt or get let down. i just take whats there and make it seem like its what i wanted all along. its not fair. to anyone.
i've left so many stories unfinished....
i can always get to the middle, but i can't ever find an appropriate ending. that ending that makes all the words prior...mean something. i usually stuff it away and only look back on it for the nostalgia it conjures.
i have so many stories here....unfinished ones....ones i feel like i've stuffed away.
the one about the girl who took me under her wing and taught me the meaning of friendship.
the one about the boy who made every moment the next great adventure.
the one about the young woman who tamed my angry life with her talk of beauty.
the one about the young man who opened my heart.
the one about the little girl who gave me a reason to be a better person.
and these are just the main ones...
i have so many more just like this.....written to the middle and then...
we never get enough time.
people grow up.
they change.
life moves forward.
we move away.
new chapters become fewer and farther between.
we're forced to put a "the end" on the stories.
the most powerful ones can only ever buy us a "to be continued"
when do we ever get a "happily ever after"?
i've never gotten the ending Disney promised me 12 years ago....
and despite it...i continue to keep starting new stories.
i guess that all we can ever do.
keep writing.
maybe the endings never finds their way to paper until we die.
i think our hope is too strong.
4 comments:
Do you ever really want it to end though...I don't...I've really only evere let a few stories end...and everytime I open them back up...I hate it because they ever ended. And I want what ended to still be going. That's what hard about growing up...is that somehow life takes a to alternate locations...we have to leave people...and we all have to make lives for ourselves. You have to learn that for the first time You can't be the friend to everyone the way you would like to be...so when life hands you an opportunity to pick up where you left off...you have to take it...and run with it...and savior every moment of its sweet existance...because in that instance you never know how long you will have it.
...And right now I think it's too soon to be looking for that disney fairy tale happy ending...the world in indeed not headed that way...and if you think about it this way...every time disney ends with their fabulous happy ending...the movie is over...I'm not quite ready for my movie to be over...I'm still working on the details in the middle! :)
Hello my fellow insomniac,
I find that i have a very hard time ending my stories because in my heart i know i don't want them to end. I want to still be right there in that moment. Whether it is good or bad, whether it brings me pleasure or pain, i never want to let it go. I tend to shrivel up in fear at the thought of letting my past go. Id rather it haunt me because at least i know it was once real.
And i think they are right when they say home is where the heart is, but i don't know where my heart is. I can't seem to figure it out. Sometimes i feel like im trying so hard to find a place where i can just love and be loved but everything i try to love perishes. Like a curse, every flower I even smell seems to wilt. I just want to catch a break.
But, i've found that home is'nt always family. "Maybe thats what family is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place"
If you get far enough away, you will find who your family is. I think distance is necessary for any successful friendship, relationship, or whatever you call what you have with people.
One of the biggest problems we seem to have is taking things for granted. Everyone is beautiful, but usually its only under a certain circumstance. But why? Because the rest of the time you don't need them.
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" the say. What "they" don't realize is, if what your seeing is not beautiful... then it is really you who is not beautiful.
~ô¿ô
by the way, im sorry for posting without a way to respond, not that i feel you intended to, but i just felt it should be available, so here is my site, which i havn't started writing on yet.
p.s.
Oasis is increadible
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