you have one wing....i have another....

so i've turned 21 and now it's past.

i don't really feel that much different.

i guess.....i shouldn't have expected 21 to be any different.

i have a record with sucky birthdays. i'm to the point where i just expect it to blow and it does and i don't really feel that bad about it. this years was actually one of the best ones i've had

i didn't have my family with me...
i didn't have my friends with me...
all i had was an acquaintance with a good story and couple years on me. we got to experience a blo/no bar together since she's not from around here. a free birthday shot and a beer.

but i find it really ironic....
to spend that one day of your life thats suppose to be some huge deal at work and then out with a girl i barely even knew....truth be told i wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

because depending on people you care about to make your life happy isn't what life is really about. most of the time youre left standing on your own. your family isn't going to always be there and your friends aren't either. they will have their own lives to worry about. you're just alone. left with regrets and people who constantly let you down. i think the fact that i stood on my own today was strangely the right thing to do. to celebrate the transition into adulthood still sheltered by what you know and who you trust isn't accurate. it isn't what life is. tonight was NOT about celebrating the loss of my childhood with what i knew and love.....it was about celebrating the start of my adulthood standing on my own.

i thought i was going to be upset that i didn't get drunk off my ass or do a powerhour or barhop with all my friends....but i'm not. granted i won't have that special 21st birthday story, but i will have a good one. i got to know a new person a little bit better and didn't do the expected......ACTUALLY that sounds about right for me.

i wish everyone would experience their 21st like that, but now that i'm 21.....i guess they can't. because i've decided that regardless of where i am or what i'm doing i'll be the first person to buy them a drink.

i have to.

i'm too protective of them to not.


today might have be the first happy birthday i've had.

at midnight i was with three people who i'm glad we're the first people to wish me a happy birthday.
i spent the day with my mom....who i love.
i went to work and got my life experience. i hung out with my little sister.
then closed the night with what i explained above.

this whole week has been pretty grand. i love everyone and thank you for making this a good start to a new year.